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  • Writer's pictureDylan Abbott

New Cut For Musk

Updated: Jan 11, 2022

I’m sure you’ve seen it. No, not the new COVID Variant, but something far more dangerous: Elon Musk’s new haircut.

Image via Twitter


At a recent appearance in Miami, the Tesla founder and CEO was spotted rocking what can only be described as a “Macklemore-lite” chop job. As a recent divorcee (trust me, we’ve all been there), it’s important to rethink your style and how you present yourself.


But I’m not quite sure what this is. Coming from the man who’s known for sleeping on factory floors, or naming his child something void of words, it doesn’t seem too out of character for him. On the other hand, this cut doesn’t seem to fit any character that isn’t one of three stooges.

Either way, the truth of the matter is that the haircut pales in comparison to the many failed promises Musk has made for the development of his multiple companies, whether it be Tesla, SpaceX, or the mind-boggling Boring Company. Full Self-Driving is finally in beta after being “right round the corner” for nearly half of a decade, the Roadster seems rather away than ever, and Walmart probably isn’t getting their Tesla Semis anytime soon.

One can only hope that Mars has better barbers.

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